Case of the Ex

More often times than not we tend to get into situations where a relationship ends, and a lot of times it really doesn't matter how, when, why, or who ended it...it always seems to come back. Well, this was the case in my situation, TWICE. Needless to say, that I had two from my pass cross my path after being out of touch for a while. One ended kind of bitterly, oh his part...I was cool with it as long as he could be honest. Let me stop, I was cool either way, I just didn't like how he acted, but I let it go and moved on. Every time we would come in close proximity, he would not know how to control himself. Case in point...we were in a parking lot, I am leaving...he sees me and runs after my car hollering like he got problems. Then got mad because I would not let the window down. REALLY!!! Anywho...I would see him on spells and it seemed to make his blood boil. I wasn't necessarily too cool because my heart would start racing when I would see him but that is a different story. I kept my composure. Time went on, days became weeks, weeks became months, and we have embarked on the years scenario. He shows up at my house unannounced; not knowing how I was going to act or react, but I was cool. We talked briefly; he wanted to know if it was possible for him to come over later on...now at first I didn't think anything of it, but who is with me on this 'Ain't nothin open after dark except Jr Foodmart and legs', haha. Okay, anywho, he came over, we talked...we actually had a decent conversation without the screaming, hollering, and calling of the police (yeah, he called the police on me, and I am still trying to figure out why...that's another story). We talked about much needed things and some not so PG things, hehe. Not trying to get caught up because I really didn't know his motive, I kept my distance...even though this was a guy that I was once crazy in love about...the way he walked, the way he talked, the way he held me, the touch of his lips...oh, getting kind of off topic, but you all catch my drift :). Anywho, as it was time for him to leave, he asked for a hug...me being me, I obliged because we are both adults and know how to conduct ourselves. Well, he didn't want to let go and I kind of didn't want him to let go, but it had to come to an end although it did with some passionate kissing. We left well enough alone, then it just so happened that he popped up again...I didn't answer the door felt that I had to dodge that bullet. But that did not stop him, he came over again, late one night. We laughed, played, talked, til wee hours of the morning only to end up kissing, which lead to something else (no, not what you are thinking). I had to admit that I started reliving how this man use to hold me, and how passionate his kisses were. After trying to regain my composure, he sits down beside me and asks me to make a promise...I didn't have a problem with what we discussed but what came next, was a huge shock to me. He told me that he could not lie, but that he had a (you guessed it) a girlfriend...I did what any respectable woman would, I got up before I reached back to HELL and slapped him into HEAVEN. He begged and pleaded with me not to hate him and that he really didn't have an excuse for misleading me. I had to explain that I was not mislead, he is just a LIAR...I didn't take anything from it, he just reminded me of how he use to make me feel. He kept trying to make light of the situation saying that it was never the fact that he wasn't attracted to me physically or sexually, HA, that I already knew. I had to explain to him that I am not that female...I am all woman, what he said should have been stated in the beginning when he felt himself feeling those feelings of uncontrolabilty (not sure if that is a word). I would have told him where to go and I think that is what he knew and is why he didn't say anything until he felt like I would not turn back...WRONG!!! I could have loved you hard, strong, and with out limits but...I LOVE me and am not trying to play second fiddle to any other. To those whom chose to do it, hey to each its own, but that is not the thing for me. He did some hellified apologizing stating that he didn't want to blame it on the fact that his girlfriend is 14 hours away...my thing was that it didn't matter where she was, it you are going to do something, you are going to do it regardless...GET OVER YOURSELF...YOU CUTE but uhhhh, I won't elaborate. I said all of that to say this, both of the guys felt like they could just come back into my life, butter me up, seduce me, and me be fine with being the other woman. I was not doing it when we were together and I DARN HELL WELL don't plan on doing it now. There maybe a shortage of me, but there are well enough of other recreational things to do with less headache and heartache. But I would love to give a S/O to them both, still got love for you and to there new women...you better watch out because even if I was the first they attempted to come back to, I will not be the last and you won't find many out there like me. ~All Things Equal